Not as Strong
by DarkSideCaptive
Summary: Edmund wasn't as strong as Peter and that's why he allowed himself to slip into the darkness. Slight AU: Peter/Edmund incest/slash MxM


_Okay so this is my first attempt at a Oneshot with Dark!Ed and Sad!Peter. I hope you like it :) I wrote this in thirty minutes. Let me know :)

* * *

_

A little taste was all I needed  
_And now I'm hooked_  
_I've fallen and succumbed to all the things I hate._

"Come on, Pevensie!" A large hand clapped over his shoulder and shoved the can into his hands. The smell clogged his senses and he shoved it away, gagging.

"No thanks."

Their roaring laughter pounded into his ears, and one pushed him towards the stone ledge. "Look at him, John! Did your brother tell you not to?"

They snorted and he snapped, his hand curling into a fist. "No."

More laughter.

Another shove.

He pushed two of them away, attempting to break away from the current that was threatening to pull him under. They stepped in front of him, the breath smelling of alcohol, eyes glassed over.

"Come on, Pevensie! Show us the old you!"

"Yeah, man, we've missed you!"

"Yeah, come on! Bring back Edmund the fearless!"

_The Just, Edmund the Just._

"Show your brother you don't need him! Show him that you're better!" One particularly loud boy screamed into his ear, the rest of the gang humming in agreement.

He closed his eyes, breathing in the cool night air in a vain attempt to clear his head. He saw Peter, the golden boy with a golden smile, perfect in every way possible. He saw the flawless lines of his cheek bones and clear eyes, the gentle slope of his back, the long, elegant, tanned neck, soft blonde hair, all tempting, all inviting, all _forbidden_. Perhaps he could forget. Perhaps he could make himself forget. He turned his head to look at the building for the 13th year boys, the oldest boys. He could only imagine Peter's face if he happened to look out the window and see his youngest brother in the midst of a gang.

But he wanted to forget, he _needed_ to forget.

He took the drink in a hurry, downing it with one chug. The laughter turned to cheers and Edmund couldn't help but smile. They raised their cans to bang against his, cheering his name the entire time.

"Edmund the Fearless has returned!" They yelled, their drunken eyes flashing in front of his face.

He swallowed thickly, the acid stinging his throat, but he continued to smile. Inside he was shaking, because before him laid the path he had walked all those years ago. The path that he had walked before Narnia and the path that he was going to walk now.

But it was better that he walked it, not Peter, because in between the two brothers, one of them had to be the dark one, the other the golden one. Peter had always stayed on the lit path when Edmund had walked the darkened one, but he had veered from it, becoming violent and angry, when Edmund had come to walk beside him in the light. They both couldn't be light, and they both couldn't be dark. It would tip the balance that kept them centered.

So Edmund chose to walk the darkened path, allowing Peter to walk in the light, because Peter _deserved_ that. And who said he couldn't make it easier for himself? Drinking made things fuzzy, like memories, for a bit, and forgetting made walking the path so much easier. So Edmund drank because he _needed_ to in order to be_ strong enough_.

The alcohol filled his senses and he allowed it to consume him completely.

* * *

_I've done some things which I'm not proud of_  
_To be accepted and to blend in with the crowd_  
_Making friends with those who tried to tear me down_  
_With intentions just to turn my smiles to frowns_

Edmund, the most feared bully on the entire campus. Edmund, the returned failure.

No doubt, the rumors that Edmund the bully had returned, taller and more muscular, had spread around the school, frightening the younger boys, until they all jumped out of his way when he came to pass them. Some of the older boys, though shorter in height, avoided him, scowling as he strode across the campus soccer field.

No doubt, Peter _knew_.

Peter had been there, watched as one of the braver boys had jumped onto Edmund's back, watched as Edmund yanked him over his shoulder and threw him to the ground, continuing to the beat the boy as his friends cheered him on in the background. Edmund had glanced up, catching Peter's eye briefly, unable to avoid the look of disappointment, hurt, and shock that flashed through the clear blue eyes.

Then he had turned and walked away, leaving Edmund with a sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach and blood smeared across his knuckles.

* * *

_Everywhere I go I see your face  
Every sound I hear is the sound of your voice_

He transferred classes a few weeks later, trading his Latin class for a study hall. His friends walked with him to his new class, clapping him on the shoulder and snickering as boys jumped out of his way. School was on the bottom of his list of priorities right now and so a study hall proved little use, but it was less bothersome than Latin, where he could actually fail.

His friends patted him on the shoulders, wishing him good luck, and then left the classroom. He shifted his weight uncomfortably, pulling the pink slip out of his pocket and handing it to the teacher, showing his schedule change. The teacher gave him a stern look, immediately recognizing him, before pointing him towards the back row.

He turned, shifting his bag against his shoulder, eyes cast down as he walked towards his seat. A long leg was stretched into the aisle ahead of him, the person lazily slouching in their chair. Edmund followed the leg up to the face of the owner, ready to threaten them if they didn't get out of his way, when they rested on the face of his own brother.

Peter blinked, his lips parting slightly, forcing Edmund to look away from them. The blonde moved to sit forward, a look of sorrow flashing in his eyes, and flicked a blonde strand out of his eyesight.

"Move." Edmund hissed, dark eyes flashing dangerously. Pain passed through the clear blue eyes of his brother and he sighed, voice lowering in anger and calmly adding on a 'please'.

Peter pulled his long leg in, watching as his dark-haired brother moved past him, slouching into the seat a few rows behind him. He turned to look over his shoulder, blue eyes piercing through brown.

Edmund shifted uncomfortably, yanking a book out of his backpack and flipping it over to the where had last left off. He was fully aware of Peter's eyes on his front, but ignored him completely.

Instead, he focused on the book, _'A Conflict of Visions: Ideological Origins of Political Struggles'_, blocking out the images of blue eyes, golden hair and a tan body.

* * *

_Well, I dont know what it means  
But I cant seem to make myself forget  
Was it something that you said  
Was it all the guilt inside my head_

He tried to hurry up and pack his bag before Peter had even stood up, but his book bag_ just had_ to dump all of its contents on the floor just as he stood. He groaned, slowly dropping to his knees to gather the books at his feet. He reached for his final pencil, shoving it in his bag, before shifting to look for his book.

"You know, this is much too advanced of a book for someone in your age group."

He scowled; of course Peter would have it. He stood to his feet, extending his hand and waiting impatiently for the book to be placed in it. Peter flipped it over to look at the bag, reading the description, scrunching up his nose as he finished. He handed it over, a half-smirk on his face. "Yeah, didn't understand a word and I'm _older_."

"And _dumber_." He hissed, buckling his bag up and brushing past him to escape through the door.

Peter sighed, grabbing his arm gently and pulling him back to face him. "Can we talk? _Please?"_

"No."

Peter dropped his eyes to the ground, his lower lip disappearing between his teeth. "I…just…I miss you, Ed. The old you," His voice dropped to a whisper, barely audible. "_My Ed_."

Edmund grit his teeth, looking away from the face of his saddened brother and towards the door again. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Please…Please don't you do this too." The blonde boy broke in front of him, sitting on one of the desks and dropping his head into his hands. "Please…I can't…not you…"

"What are you talking about?" He rolled his eyes, shifting his weight to his other foot.

"Susan…" He looked out the window for a minute, eyes distant and clouded "Susan doesn't believe in Narnia anymore."

As much as Edmund was trying to ignore his older brother, that statement snapped him back to reality and he straightened his spine, his mouth falling open. "What?"

"She…says it was just a game. That you and I were never m-"

Edmund snapped at that minute, the shield that he had built around his heart shattering into pieces, ripping the organ in two. "Don't. Don't mention it; I don't want to hear it."

There was a moment of silence, the bell ringing overhead, signaling for lunch, but they stood still until Peter slowly whispered, "Do you not love me anymore?"

He wanted to punch him so hard that his entire face would shatter, wanted to strangle him until he was writhing on the ground, because all of the work that he had done, building a wall to protect his heart and mind, was gone and he was left open and revealed. So he did the only thing he could do.

He grabbed the bag he had dropped to the ground and rushed out the door, ignoring Peter's calls.

* * *

_So go on and scream  
Scream at me, I'm so far away_

Edmund had never had a problem with what he was doing, not since he blocked out the roar of the Lion and the gentle calling of his younger sister that still echoed through his mind. No, he had adjusted to walking on this path, to staying out late and drinking or going to crazy parties and kissing some random girl in the back of the room, faceless and nameless.

He lit the cigar, pressing it between his lips and letting out a puff of smoke, watching as it drifted into the night air. His legs dangled over the stone wall, banging against the side occasionally. His left hand flexed, the ring finger curling forward, reminding him.

"_Aslan, why_?" He whispered, finger twisting around the invisible ring on his ring finger. "Why?"

"Who's Aslan?" A voice behind him spoke and Edmund jumped. "It's probably not healthy to talk to yourself at your age."

He looked back to see his friend and fellow gang member, Jake, move to sit beside him. He held his hand out for his cigarette and Edmund handed it him, watching him inhale heavily, before blowing out a thin wisp of smoke. He took it back, following pattern, before sighing.

"What's wrong?" Jake whispered.

"Don't matter." He mumbled back, handing the cigarette over again.

James huffed, "Fine, but I know something's wrong."

"Good for you." He took the cigarette again.

Footsteps sounded softly behind them. "Uhhh….hi."

Edmund glanced behind him to see his brother, wrapped in a cotton black jacket, similar to his own leather one. Jake glanced at Peter before nodding and jumping to the ground beneath the wall, a good amount of feet down, and taking off down the yard. Peter shifted uncomfortably, scrunching his nose up at the smell of the smoke.

"If you don't like it, you can leave." Edmund mumbled, exhaling a rather large amount of smoke.

Peter said nothing and took a seat next to his younger brother. "Hi."

"You've said that already." He mumbled, pulling the cigar out and offering it to Peter, who declined…of course.

There was a silence before he spoke again. "I'm afraid if I say anything else, you'll run off again."

"I'm not a coward, you know." He hissed, jerking his head to the side to look at his older brother.

"Yes, you are." Peter whispered. "I didn't think you were, but I know differently now."

"You got a lot of nerve." His voice was dangerously low, voice dripping with venom.

Peter sighed, his left hand reaching out and twisting around in the air, a golden band was placed on his ring finger and Edmund gasped, his eyes widening as he yanked his brother's hand down and observed the ring. Peter gently whispered, "I got it so I wouldn't forget where my heart is."

Edmund swallowed, releasing his hand and looking up at him. "Where is it?"

"With you." Peter whispered, his voice cracking. "With my brother, my lover, my dark knight, and my husband."

Edmund stopped breathing for a second. "I'm not your husband here…we…we can't exist…"

"I know, but that doesn't mean you have to turn into this." He gestured to the cigar in Edmund's hand. "I don't like who you are anymore. You're…you're into some really bad stuff, Ed."

"You don't think I know that?" He suddenly raised his voice, snapping at his brother.

"Then why are you continuing to do it!?" Peter yelled, frustrated with his stubborn brother.

Edmund sighed, standing up and leaping onto the sidewalk, crushing the cigarette with the heel of his shoe, wiping it on the sidewalk. He turned to look at his brother over his shoulder, stuffing his hands into his pockets, and sighing. "I'm not as strong as you, Pete."

"Edmund, please. Tell me you're not that person. Tell me you're still the Edmund I loved, King Edmund the Just. Please, give me that peace of mind." Peter begged behind him, hands clutching his sleeve.

_"I can't."_ He whispered, turning his back and jogging down the steps.

* * *

Soooo it sucked I know, but I wanted to see how I did with a Dark!Edmund. And I know I completely and utterly failed at it :( but review anyway :)


End file.
